


Just fucking let me love you

by themagnificentquack



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Arrow (TV 2012) Season 6, Curtis and Rene ship Dinahsiren, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, I'm a bit rude to Oliver at times, Laurel has PTSD and panic attacks so trigger warning for that, Slow Burn, but not really because the chapters are short and i update quickly, okay not that quickly sorry, okay somewhat quickly, yea really definetly not quickly that was a lie my bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23823472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themagnificentquack/pseuds/themagnificentquack
Summary: okay i changed the name again but this is the last time I promise. the new title is from a song of the same name by the singer lowenNew Team Arrow from season 6 capture Laurel and but then she sort of joins the team and they all become friends and Laurel and Dinah fall in love
Relationships: Dinah Drake & Earth-2 Laurel Lance & Curtis Holt & Rene Ramirez, Dinah Drake/Earth-2 Laurel Lance
Comments: 41
Kudos: 90





	1. Chapter 1

Dinah leaned over Laurel, who was handcuffed to a chair in the old Helix base Dinah, Rene, and Curtis had commissioned as their bunker. Laurel stared up at her defiantly, unaffected by the way Dinah towered over her, or by the knife loosely balanced in her grip. 

"Just tell me what Diaz is planning, and we'll let you go," Dinah said lowly, nodding to where Curtis and Rene looked on when she said the word 'we'. Laurel laughed out loud at her bravado. "No offense, but you don't scare me anywhere near as much as Diaz does," she said. Dinah raised an eyebrow in a way that made Laurel's stomach fill with butterflies, despite the less than fortunate situation. "Are you sure?" she asked. "Because I'm certain that I hate you a hell of a lot more than he does," she said, flipping the knife for effect. 

Laurel laughed again, unbothered. "That's the problem. He doesn't hate me because he doesn't feel anything. Diaz is a monster, and your hand is shaking. Even if torture did get you anything- which it wouldn't- you don't have the stomach for it." 

Dinah crossed her arms across her chest, the knife resting flat against her muscled forearm. "I read you file. I know about all of the people you killed besides Vinny. I know 𝘺𝘰𝘶 have the stomach for it. So I think I can manage, just for you," she said, almost purring the last part. 

She gently rested the tip of the knife against Laurel's collar bone and leaned in. "So where's Diaz, Laurel?" 𝘎𝘰𝘥, Laurel loved it when Dinah said her name. "One of the things I left out of my file," Laurel started, a certain rasp to her voice, "I kind of enjoy this sort of thing," she said with a mischievous grin. 

Dinah sighed with exasperation and tossed the knife to the side, turning away to hide her blush and her rapidly beating heart. "Curtis, you're up," she said. 

They tried everything. Intimidation, bribery, they even brought in a polygraph. But nothing got Laurel to talk. She was like a brick wall. 

They couldn't bring 𝘵𝘩𝘦 Laurel Lance into custody without insurmountable evidence, and they certainly couldn't let her go, so she stayed. 

Curits had his t-spheres build some knid of magnetic, invisible, power dampening cell that no one but him really understood for the first night of Laurel's imprisonment. 

As her stay increased from a few days to a week, they brought her a cot and a few books. Sometimes, when the team was talking, Laurel would interrupt with witty comments and sarcasm. And every so often, when somebody came up with a really bad idea, she'd help them plan attacks. She didn't give them enough information to tip Diaz off at first, but she made sure they didn't get themselves killed. 

Their interactions became more friendly and slowly, slowly, Laurel became a part of life for the New Team Arrow. They would greet her when they came and and say goodbye when they left for the night. The meals she was given changed from bread and water, to Big Belly Burger, to homemade leftovers and groceries they bought for her. 

One day, Curtis took down the cage as a test, just to see if Laurel would run. When she discovered her freedom, the team watched her consider it. She stared at the door for a few minutes without moving, then she snapped out of it. She ran around the bunker for a bit, took advantage of their workout equipment, then went back to her cot to sleep. 

After that, Laurel was given a room in the back of the bunker, a mini-fridge, and a real mattress. And, most importantly, the power-dampening was taken down a few notches. Her cry was still weakened, but it didn't hurt her anymore. The whole team noticed her breathing start to get a little easier, and they turned down the power-dampening more and more as time passed. 

She started working out more, and she helped to plan for missions, her information growing more and more detailed. She started training with Rene, and Curtis started teaching her the basics of coding so she could quarterback missions. But while Dinah's attitude towards her grew more civil, they were a far cry from the friendliness she shared with the rest of the team. 

\--------

Laurel thought she was finally started to gain their trust, until one day when they were setting up for a mission. While Laurel was still too afraid of Diaz to go out into the field, she liked to help prep the weapons and such. 

As they were grabbing supplies for a relatively easy mission, Curtis made a mistake. Dinah was over by the computers, going over some last minute information, and Laurel was watching her out of the corner of her eye. They both looked up when Curtis said, "Uh oh." 

Laurel watched as if in slow motion as a grenade dropped the floor, the pin hanging from Curtis' finger. Laurel dropped to the floor without thinking, curling her body around the bomb. She braced for impact, but it never came. 

After a few moments of silence, Laurel uncurled herself shakily, heart pounding. "I guess it was a dud," she said, looking between Curtis and Rene- who were both grinning wildly for some reason- her breath coming heavily. 

"I knew it!" Curtis shouted, looked back at Dinah, who was standing unsmiling with her arms crossed. It was only when Rene held up his hand for a high-five that realization began to dawn on her. 

She felt a smile creep onto her face as she glanced back at the unexploded grenade sitting innocently on the floor of the base. "Did you guys just Captain America me?" she asked. She knew she should be annoyed, but when Rene nodded she just shook her head and high-fived him, overcome with giddy adrenaline from her near death experience. And when Curtis pulled her into a bear hug, she hugged him back. She made eye contact with Dinah over Curtis' shoulder, a big smile on her face. Dinah smiled back, the corners of her mouth barely tilted up. The thought that maybe she was becoming better slipped into Laurel's brain. 

For some reason, the idea brought tears to her eyes. When Curtis released her, she went back to her room and cried, feeling lighter than she had in years. 

\--------

A few weeks after the grenade incident, Laurel was at the base with Curtis, going over the basics of hacking street camera, when Dinah came back from work, drenched from head to toe. Laurel shivered at the sight of her wet curls. Not because she looked cold, but because she looked beautiful. 

Laurel looked over at Curtis. "Is it raining?" she asked. He nodded distractedly. "Can I go for a walk?" she asked. She really missed the rain. "Of course!" Curtis said. "You're not our prisoner anymore Laurel. We trust you." Laurel smiled at him, but it quickly faded when she swallowed in uneasiness. "Would you..." Laurel cleared her throat. "Would you mind walking with me?" she asked hesitantly.

He fingered his recently braided hair. "I don't know..." he said. Laurel laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. "I don't blame you. It's a good look." Curtis grinned. In reality, it wasn't really a big deal if he messed up his hair. He just figured this was the perfect opportunity to get Dinah and Laurel to talk to each other. It was obvious the way Laurel looked at the other woman, her poker face was horrible and she had the biggest heart eyes in the world. They'd been fairly certain that Dinah's obsession with catching Laurel was beyond hatred, and it became more obvious the more they spent time together. 

Laurel considered not going for the walk, but she really did miss the rain. She glanced over at Dinah. "Do you think she'd agree if I asked her?" Laurel murmured to Curtis. He grinned in triumph, but Laurel didn't see it, her gaze focused on Dinah. "Only one way to find out," he said. Laurel nodded and rolled her shoulders as if for preparing for a fight before walking over to Dinah. 

"Hey," Laurel said quietly. Dinah nodded back. She knew Laurel had changed, but she still wasn't her biggest fan. "I was thinking of going for a walk," Laurel said. Dinah didn't immediately tell her not to, so she continued. "Could you come with me?" she asked quietly. Dinah hesitated but nodded and pulled her coat back on. 

They walked quietly for a few minutes, the rain dripping down their faces, Laurel's eyes moving rapidly, until one man passed a little too close to her and she flinched violently. 

She was of half a mind to turn back, but before she could do so Dinah stepped closer and wrapped her cold arm around Laurel's back. She pulled her close, keeping Laurel safe in her arms. "You're okay," she whispered in her ear. "You're safe." And for some reason, Laurel believed her. 

"Thanks," she whispered. She leaned into Dinah's side, drawing comfort from her body heat. Walking together arm in arm, they were the only warm people in the rainy night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they land a solid punch to Diaz (metaphorically) and then they celebrate

Laurel had started working out more. She spent most of her time training, and her hard work quickly began paying off as she grew faster and stronger. The training also had an effect on her body. Her arms and legs became more defined, and a six pack started to stand out on her stomach. 

And 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬, did it do things to Dinah. She found herself distracted at work, sitting at her desk, eyes unfocused, watching Laurel do pull ups in her head. Laurel had cut her hair short recently, and it looked 𝘴𝘰 hot dampened with sweat. She imagined Laurel's muscles contracting as sweat ran her hairline... and then all of a sudden Laurel was underneath her, her breath coming in gasps. Dinah shifted in her chair without even realizing it as her imagination ran wild. 

"Thinking about Laurel?" Curtis asked loudly, breaking Dinah out of her trance. She'd been so caught up in her daydream that she didn't even notice his approach. "I've no idea what you're talking about," she said coolly. Curtis chuckled. "Then I think you have a fever because her face is bright pink," he said. 

Dinah chose to ignore him, fully aware that this was not an argument she could win. "Do you need something?" she asked. 

Curtis' smile grew. "I have some good news," he said. "We got Diaz' bank account in the Cayman Islands. Laurel guessed his password." Dinah grinned. "Nice," she said, reached out for a fist bump. They celebrated quietly for a few minutes before Dinah shooed him away. "I have paperwork to do," she said. "Oh is that what you were doing?" Curtis asked, laughing. She threw a paperclip at him on his way out. 

\--------

Dinah got to the bunker a little later than usual. She frowned in confusion when she heard music through the door. The music got louder when she opened it. She was greeted with the sight of Laurel, Curtis and Rene dancing in a circle, occasionally pausing to sent a kick or a punch to the photo of Diaz they'd pinned to a punching bag. 

Laurel looked more carefree and happy than Dinah had ever seen her. Dinah smiled without even realizing it. Laurel noticed her gaze and whooped in joy, announcing her entrance. Dinah hurried down the stairs and stripped off her jacket to join in the dancing. After all the stress their lives held, it was so nice to let go and have some fun. Dinah felt free. 

Laurel pulled Dinah in to join her ridiculous interpretive dance and she did so with joy. Their eyes were locked together, happiness traveling between them, sparkling with electricity. 

The team collapsed to the ground a few minutes later, exhausted from their endless dancing. Their limbs ended up tangled together as they laid there, connected by their happiness. Curtis had his head or Laurel's stomach, Rene laid on Curtis' legs, and Dinah had her hair wrapped around Laurel. 

They laid on the floor for a few minutes, catching their breath. "Wooo!" Rene shouted suddenly. They all laughed as Rene stood up. "I'm gonna go tell my daughter I love her!" he shouted, happily. Curtis stood as well. "I'm gonna go on patrol," he said, winking obviously at Laurel. 

The boys left after one final chorus of 'Fuck you Diaz', leaving Dinah and Laurel alone. 

\--------

Laurel didn't move for fear of disrupting Dinah. She didn't want to ruin the moment of content they had found. Her worries were dispelled when Dinah reached over and began carding her fingrs through Laurel's hair. Laurel sighed and pulled Dinah closer, laying her head on the taller woman's chest. 

"So what are we going to do with the money?" Dinah asked. Laurel chuckled in response. "Is this a test?" she asked. "Because if so I think we should give it to charity," she said. Dinah laughed. "It wasn't a test. I was going to ask if you wanted to move out of the bunker and get yourself an apartment." 

Laurel shifted positions to look up at her. "You'd trust with with that?" she asked. Dinah shifted them closer so Laurel was laying in the crook of her shoulder. "I know I haven't been totally welcoming to you, but I do trust you Laurel, she said. Laurel relaxed into Dinah's side. "Thanks," she whispered. Dinah resumed running her fingers through Laurel's hair. "There's an apartment building just down the street, so you wouldn't have to do public transportation if that's too much," she said. Laurel smiled at her thoughtfulness. 

"I'm sorry I tried to kill you," Dinah murmured. "I'm sorry I deserved it," Laurel replied quietly. Dinah maneuvered them so Laurel was awkwardly lying on her chest so she could look her in the eyes. "I don't blame you," she said. 

Laurel laid down against Dinah's chest to break the eye contact that suddenly felt like too much. She stayed silent because she blamed herself, because she still heard Dinah's devastated whimpers in her nightmares, because she would trade her life for Vince's in an instant. Because she loved Dinah too much to forgive herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they go to ikea to get stuff for Laurel's new apartment and they see oliver there

Rene, Curtis, Dinah, and Laurel walked out of the base with springs in their steps. There was an air of festivity to the occasion. They were headed to IKEA to get some furniture for Laurel's new apartment. It was her first time out of the bunker beyond trips around the block since they'd captured her months before. Her first time in public since Diaz. She didn't talk about him, but it was clear to all of them how much he scared her. This was a big step. 

"Wanna drive?" Dinah asked, tossing Laurel the keys. Ever since their talk the other night, Dinah had been trying to find little ways to show Laurel how much she trusted her. Usually Laurel jumped at the opportunity to do anything out of the ordinary, as life in the bunker became quite monotonous. 

This time however, she tossed the keys right back. "I can't drive," she explained. The whole team looked shocked. "How do you get around?" Curtis asked, with something akin to wonder in his voice. "I can ride a motorcycle, I just can't drive a car," Laurel explained. "How have you gone your whole life without learning to drive?" he asked. Laurel shrugged. "Foster parents don't tend to have time for that sort of thing," she said. 

Dinah took the driver's seat, so Laurel automatically took the seat beside her. Normally one or both of the boys would complain about her stealing shotgun, but they were too invested in the budding relationship to care. 

Laurel stuck her head out the window for the duration of the car ride, marveling at the way the wind whipped through her hair. She hadn't had the time to enjoy little things like the wind since her dad died. 

Dinah laughed at her tousled locks when they arrived, and stepped in close to Laurel to tease out the tangles with her fingers. Curtis and Rene exchanged gleeful looks. 

\--------

They shopped for a few hours, collecting a mismatched cart filled with objects based far more on fun than function. Some of the highlights included two dressers (one for clothes and one for weapons), window curtains with little canaries on them, and a whole pile of electronic that Curtis swore he could make an awesome security system out of. 

Laurel tried to put back almost everything they put in the cart, saying that she didn't need any of it, but they convinced her with the argument that Diaz's money couldn't be more well spent than on a toilet brush holder shaped like a fish. 

Overall, Laurel was doing well. She still got nervous whenever people got too close to her, but Dinah's steadying presence and the team's encouragement kept her calm. 

They were headed to the checkout line, big smiles on all of their faces, when they were stopped. "Is that Black Siren?" Oliver asked. When they all turned around and Oliver saw her face, he took a step back in shock, almost bumping into Felicity. "What the hell is she doing here?" he asked. "We thought she was dead." 

"Just calm down," Dinah said, placing a hand on his arm. He shook her off and stepped forward, becoming more aggressive. "You need to hand her over to us, now," he said, the harsh tone of his voice conflicting with the children's toys for William he held in his hands. "Yeah not happening Hoss," Rene said. When Oliver stepped closer, Curtis stepped in front of Laurel. "You want her, you're going to have to go through us," he said. 

Laurel reached out and grabbed Dinah's hand as Oliver's face flickered and morphed into Diaz. 

Oliver took a step forward, brushing Curtis aside. Dinah reached out and stopped him. "Back, off," She said, the intention behind her voice clear. 

Confused as he was by the current situation, Oliver responded in the only way he knew how: attack. He twisted Dinah's arm behind her back, forcing her out of the way and incapacitating her in one smooth motion. Dinah tried not to show it, but Laurel could see the pain twisting her face. She stepped forward and gripped Oliver's arm tightly, forcing him to release Dinah, who staggered out of Laurel's field of view, but seemed okay. 

Laurel leaned forward. "Hurt any of them, and I will make you permanently deaf in one ear. Got it?" she said. Oliver simply glared in response. 

Laurel, Curtis, Dinah and Rene got out of there, leaving their cart behind. When they finally reached Dinah's car, Laurel collapsed against it, shaking. 

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry I resorted so quickly to violence, I... I thought I was becoming better." 

Dinah pulled her into a hug among a chorus of support from Curtis and Rene, and started rubbing comforting circles on her back. "You got us out of there," Dinah murmured. "We're safe." 

Laurel let out a shuttering sob and leaned into Dinah's embrace, head on her shoulder. 

We love you," Curtis chimed in, turning the hug into a group hug that Rene quickly joined. "I love you guys too," Laurel sniffed, wiping her tears. 

If such amazing people loved her, maybe Laurel wasn't so bad after all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they wait for Oliver's team to show up at the bunker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I use the word lock down a few times in reference to the way they close up the bunker while they wait for Oliver's team to arrive. if that word is a trigger for you, skip to the second dashed line (you're not missing much they pretty much just go to the bunker

"So what now?" Laurel asked, her arm hanging out the open window. "Do you guys want me to go try and convince Oliver I'm reformed?" she asked, turning in her seat to look at all of them. 

Dinah shook her head, eyes on the road. "Oliver's not the trusting type. He'd lock you up just in case," she said. Curtis and Rene nodded in enthusiastic agreement. Laurel sighed. "It might be the right choice anyway. As badass as you guys are, a fight with the Old Team Arrow could be dangerous. I'm not worth a vigilante turf war," she said. 

Curtis reached forward and grabbed her shoulder. "You are to us," he said. Rene showed his agreement with a simple nod, and Laurel could see the sincerity in his eyes. She smiled her thanks at them, worried that if she opened her mouth to speak she'd begin to cry. No one ever thought she was worth fighting for.

She turned back to face front as Dinah decided on a course of action. Laurel noticed she;d been noticeably silent when the boys said she was worth it. Now that she thought about it, as kind as she'd been, Dinah hadn't spoken in the parking lot either when Curtis said they loved her. She supposed it was understandable that Dinah didn't care about her after what she'd done to Vince but it hurt all the same. She leaned her head out the window, feeling like she was going to throw up. 

"We'll wait for them to come to us," Dinah said, breaking Laurel out of her increasingly painful spiral of thoughts. "We'll lock down the bunker so they can't get in and when they get there we can negotiate through the doorbell cam." 

Curtis and Laurel nodded in agreement, content to follow Dinah's lead, but Rene shook his head. "I can't leave my daughter while we wait for Oliver to lose his patience," he said. 

Dinah kept her eyes on the road, but Laurel saw her grin as she responded, " I doubt that will take very long. But you're right. I'll need to be there to negotiate, we need Curtis to initiate lock down, and Laurel needs to be there to stay safe, but you should be good to go," she said, turning onto Rene's block. 

"Say hi to Zoe for us!" Curtis called as Rene got out with a wave. The car felt strangely quiet in the absence of Rene and Curtis' constant chatter. 

\--------

They arrived at the bunker soon after, although they did stop for snacks along the way. 

Curtis engaged lock down protocols right away, sheets of metal sinking from the ceiling and covering any area of the base that wasn't already protected by several feet of concrete. Laurel whistled at the transformation. She'd never seen the bunker on lock down before. "Helix does not play around!" she commented excitedly. Dinah chuckled at her awed expression, filling Laurel's stomach with butterflies. 

\--------

Being trapped in the bunker got boring quick. Laurel, being somewhat more accustomed to it due to her somewhat self-imposed imprisonment, found things to do easily, starting with working out. Curtis and Dinah started out doing their own stuff, but as Laurel's workout got more and more intense, they were drawn away. Curtis' gaze was clearly filled with awe, but it was clear from Dinah's eyes that her thoughts had taken a very different term. 

Laurel's paused midway through an exercise, her muscles tensing as she held herself halfway up the pull-up bar, suddenly aware of Dinah and Curtis' stares. She pulled herself up the rest of the way so her hips were resting against the bar, and stared back. "What's up? Did Old Team Arrow show up?" she asked, oblivious to their awestruck gazes. "No, that was just really cool!" Curtis said. Dinah didn't say anything, her brain otherwise occupied. An unidentifiable heat filled her chest, and she swallowed as she imagined kissing her way down Laurel's body, leaving marks in her path. 

Laurel thanked Curtis and swung down with a grin, absorbing the impact with bent legs. Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at Dinah, who was mesmerized, unable to look away as Laurel came closer. She felt her whole body heat up, and butterflies exploded into existence in her stomach as Laurel stepped in front of her, invading her personal space in the best way. Aware of Curtis' presence, Laurel leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Dinah's cheek before going to shower and change.

Curtis elbowed Dinah excitedly the second Laurel was out of sight, to which Dinah replied with a small smile. 

Laurel came back a half an hour later dressed comfortably, her short hair damp and her face clean of makeup. Dinah's heart almost stopped at the sight of her looking so incredibly soft. She wanted nothing more than to wrap Laurel in her arms and never let her go. 

Curtis pulled up a movie on his monitor and they dragged the couch over to watch it together. Dinah sat in the middle of the couch with Curtis and Laurel on either side of her. 

Halfway through the movie, Laurel inched closer to her and gently intertwined their fingers, causing Dinah's breath to catch in her throat. She slowly traced circles on Laurel's palm in response, and she wore she heard Laurel gasp at the sensation. 

\--------

They were interrupted soon after by the blaring of an alarm as Oliver shot an explosive arrow into the door. The powerful explosive created a small dent, but didn't break through. 

Dinah jumped into action quickly, hurrying to the microphone. "Oliver! This is unnecessary!" She shouted. His voice came through in response. "How could you trust her? Especially after what she did to Vince," he said back his voice muffled by a crackling sound as his arrow burned itself out. "You need to hand her over! She's a killer!" He yelled. Laurel watched as an angry blush spread across Dinah's face. "So are we!" she shouted back, anger making her voice louder than she'd intended. 

There was a pause for a moment before his voice came through again. "Fine. We get that you guys trust her. But if you don't hand her over, a lot of people are going to die." Laurel and Dinah looked at each other, shocked by the change in tactic. "What the hell are you talking about?" Dinah asked into the mic. "Diaz has a biological weapon. If he doesn't get Siren, he'll set it off and thousands will die," Oliver explained. 

"How does he even know Laurel's alive?" Dinah shot back, suddenly suspicious. There was silence for a moment, then Oliver said "He bugged the bunker. We only found out about it recently," with a hint of embarrassment in his voice. 

Dinah sighed. "For fucks sake," she muttered, head in her hands. While she was distracted, Laurel reached over and grabbed the mic. "I'll do it," she said, before the selfish part of her brain could stop her. 

Dinah and Curtis both turned to stare at her. "You don't have to do this," Dinah said grabbing Laurel's hands, a hint of panic in her eyes. Laurel smiled wryly. "For once I'd like to prevent death instead of causing it," she said. Dinah nodded in understanding and turned to the mic. "Fine," she said. "But we're coming with."

\--------

They went over the plan in the van. Diggle and Curtis would head to the sight of the weapon to neutralize it, with Rene on his way as backup. Laurel would meet Diaz, pretending to have been kept captive all these months, and distract him long enough for Curtis to stop the weapon. Then, Oliver and Dinah would come in and help her take down Diaz once and for all. So long as Laurel survived until then.

They got to the warehouse much sooner than she would have hoped, despite having dropped off Diggle and Curtis along the way. 

They paused for a moment outside while Oliver fiddled with the sonic dampener. Dinah tried to find something to say to Laurel, but nothing felt right. Oliver nodded to them to indicate he had it working, and Laurel turned to walk over to him. 

Before she could go, Dinah gently grabbed her hand and pulled her back. "Can I kiss you?" she asked quietly. Laurel swallowed in surprise but nodded. "Yes," she murmured. 

Dinah leaned in, intertwining her fingers with Laurel's where their hands were clasped and kissed her firmly, moving her other hand to the back of Laurel's neck to pull her closer. Laurel hesitated for a moment, but then all of a sudden it was 𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 and she slipped her free hand around Dinah's waist to bring her impossibly closer.

Dinah stepped back regretfully after a moment, touching her forehead to Laurel's because if she didn't stop now, she'd never be able to. 

"I love you," she whispered, the words ghosting against Laurel's lips. Laurel kissed her again before pulling her into the hug and resting her head on her shoulder. "I love you too," she whispered into Dinah's ear.

Then she walked over to Oliver and turned to smile at Dinah one last time before she walked into the warehouse where Diaz was waiting for her. And then she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obviously i'm not going to kill Laurel i don't have the mental stability to write anything but fluff. i just made it kind of fatalistic like that because Dinah's super worried abt Laurel and i wanted to express that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurel and Diaz hang. it's not good for Diaz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry for the long wait between chapters. it be like that sometimes.

The memory of Dinah's lips helped to steady her as Laurel walked slowly towards Diaz. She'd never been all that good at hiding her emotions and she was sure the fear that was causing her heart to beat rapidly was written all over her face. 

Oliver stopped walking behind her, but she continued towards Diaz , the sonic dampener heavy around her neck. The weight of the gun in her waistband was a comfort, the small sense of security keeping her from breaking and running as far away as humanely possible. 

Before she knew it, she was in front of him. He was the same. His cruel grin still sent shivers down her spine. 

"Hey baby," he said. The low rasp of his voice made a prickling sensation spill over Laurel's skin and she tensed up as he leaned in to disengage the dampener. 

His rough fingers brushed against her neck and she flinched away violently before she could stop herself. "What's wrong baby?" He asked. His voice was the same but she could see the suspicion on his face, the way he flexed his fingers, as if preparing to break her. 

"Nothing," she said, chuckling nervously. 

His narrowed eyes were the only indication she got before his hand shot out and lifted her into the air by her throat. Her legs kicked in the air as he squeezed harder. He said something but she didn't hear it. She was choking, suffocating, dying. 

Spots danced across her vision as she reached behind her. She pulled out her gun without hesitation and fired once, twice, three times. They hit him directly in the chest- because that was where she aimed- because she fired with the intent to kill. 

A savage joy filled her as Diaz stumbled back, releasing her, before collapsing. She fell to the floor, coughing. She'd killed again. And she liked it.

'Dinah would hate you if she knew' a voice whispered. And, oh god she'd completely forgotten about the bomb- Curtis and Rene. 'You're a monster' the voice whispered. Then she blacked out. 

\--------

Laurel came to slowly. The second she opened her eyes she saw Dinah hovering over her and it all came back. "The weapon..." she muttered groggily, as she tried to rise. 

Dinah stopped her with a hand on her cheek. "Curtis disabled it," she said. "They're okay, everything's okay." She ran the pad of her thumb over Laurel's cheek reassuringly. Laurel closed her eyes as the contact, but she couldn't relax she remembered, because the fear that had been weighing on her for months was finally confirmed. She was a monster. 

"Diaz is dead," Dinah said, perhaps noticing the tension in Laurel's body. Like Laurel didn't already know. Like she hadn't watched him fall. Like she hadn't been happy about it. "I know," Laurel whispered.

\--------

The van was silent as they drove to pick up the rest of the team. Dinah hesitantly put her arm around Laurel, trying to comfort her. Laurel stared at the wall, and considered running. 

Apparently Curtis, John, and Rene were briefed before they got in the van, because they were noticeably subdued- a far cry from their usual post mission behavior. 

\--------

After being dropped off at the bunker, Dinah asked Laurel if she'd like to go to Dinah's apartment, as her own was still sparse thanks to the IKEA fiasco. Laurel didn't acknowledge that she'd heard her. But when Dinah got into the car, she followed. 

They drove silently through the dark night. Dinah turned to look at her, check on her, whenever they hit a stop sign. Laurel wanted to get out of the car and run away every time, but the now distant memory of Dinah's soft lips held her back. 

Laurel vaguely realized that Dinah had parked the car and was getting out, but she couldn't get her body to move. There was no reason to, when instead she could just sit in Dinah's car, remembering with despair how satisfied she'd felt knowing Diaz was dead.

The feeling hadn't lasted, it was replaced by aching regret the second she remembered all the promises she made to herself, and the way Curtis believed in her, and Rene said she could meet Zoe sometime, and the way Dinah's breath ghosting across her lips when she said the words 'I love you.' 

Dinah opened the car door and fresh air flew in, allowing Laurel to breathe and lightening the suffocating weight on her chest just enough for her to take Dinah's proffered hand and step out of the car, her movements robotic. 

Dinah kept her arm around Laurel's waist the whole way up to her apartment. If there wasn't a layer of nothing surrounding her emotions like thick fog, maybe Laurel would've felt something from the familiar touch.

She glanced idly around Dinah's apartment without really taking it in. When she stayed just inside the doorway, Dinah came back and gently guided her around a glass-topped coffee table to sit on the couch. 

Dinah gently removed Laurel's leather jacket, with no help from the latter, and placed in beside them on the couch. Then she reached over and brushed her fingertips gently against the finger shaped bruises that had blossomed on Laurel's neck, hands shaking. Laurel winced in pain at the action, but said nothing and stared at the wall. 

Desperate to help, but not sure how, worried that any contact would remind Laurel of Diaz, Dinah gently connected their hands, and ran her thumb back and forth across Laurel's palm in what she hoped was a calming motion. 

Laurel sighed and laid down on the couch, bringing Dinah with her. Dinah intended to stay awake, to be with Laurel until she fell asleep, but Laurel's warmth got to her and she drifted off. 

When she woke up, the space beside her was cold, and Laurel was gone. 

Dinah sat up immediately, blinked to dispel the leftover makeup from around her eyes. She searched the entire apartment, but Laurel was nowhere to be found. She switched out her canary jacket for a sweater and grabbed a pair of sunglasses to cover up her eye makeup before hurrying out the door.

\--------

Curtis opened his door after several knocks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. It was only then that Dinah realized that the sun had barely risen. 

He let her in quickly, revealing Rene grumpily sitting up on the sofa. The pillows and blankets made it clear he'd stayed the night. When she shot him a curious look, he just shrugged. "Wasn't the kind of night you want to spend alone," he said. Zoe peeked her head out of the guest room and Rene went to go get her. 

Dinah turned to Curtis, who had taken a seat on his side table. "I need you to hack the cameras outside my apartment," she said. He scrunched up his face in confusion. "Why?" He asked. Dinah took a deep breath. "Laurel's gone," she said. "And we're going to get her back."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> laurel yeets. they find her. laurel yeets again.

Laurel made herself very difficult to trace. Even after several hours, two red bulls, and Felicity's semi-reluctant help, they still lost her once she made it to the highway. 

"If she wants to go far, she'll have to get supplies," Rene noted. A light-bulb went off in Dinah's head. "Vince told me she had a to-go bag stashed," she explained. "I found it when we were still after her. I know where she'll go." 

\--------

They made it to Laurel's storage locker just as she was leaving. The only reason she didn't escape in time was because Dinah pulled in all of her favors with the SCPD to set up blockades Laurel would be forced to go around. 

She stopped when she saw them, and dropped her duffel bag to the sidewalk in surprise. Dinah wasn't sure if Laurel planned to hug them, or attack them. She wasn't sure if Laurel knew either. 

"Stay away," Laurel called, backing up as she did so. Dinah ignored her, and took a hesitant step forward. "You don't have to run Laurel. We're here for you. We love you." 

Laurel started to back up more quickly, like she was getting ready to run. "You shouldn't. I'm a killer. A monster." She turned on her heel to leave, but Dinah said something that stopped Laurel in her tracks. "I'm in love with you," she called. 

Laurel paused, but didn't turn back. "That can't be true," she said. Because if Dinah was in love with then everything she'd thought since her father died was wrong. It meant she wasn't unlovable. But that couldn't be true so Dinah had to be lying. Making it up so Laurel would go with them. 

She felt a hand on her arm. She'd been so caught up in her thoughts, she hadn't even heard Dinah approach. 

The desire to run was fading, and it dissipated entirely when Dinah started talking. 

"I'm in love with the way you twirl the ring on your forefinger when you're nervous." Laurel started in surprise. She hadn't even realized she did that. "I'm in love with the way you dance when you're happy. I'm in love with the sound of your voice, and the taste of your lips, and the way in feels when I hold your hand." She gently turned Laurel to face her, and intertwined their fingers. "I'm in love with you," she said quietly.

Laurel dropped Dinah's hand and took a step back. "You shouldn't be," she said. Then she picked up her bag and walked away, Dinah's pleas for her to stay echoing behind her. 

\--------------------

Laurel used the money and the fake passport in her duffel bag to buy a plane ticket to Siberia. There were very few people on the plane, but she still managed to get a seat in front of a kid who made it his personal mission to give her back pain by kicking her seat the entire time, and his mother, who spent the plane ride yelling at him and anyone else who dared to look at her the wrong way. 

Laurel just sat there, nursing her small bag of peanuts, and did nothing. She didn't listen to music, or try to watch a movie, or punch the lady behind her in the mouth. She just sat, thinking. Even though it had barely been more than a day since she saw him, she missed Dinah, Curtis, and Rene terribly. Her mind kept going back to all the memories they'd shared, and she couldn't help but imagine what they would be doing if they were here now. 

But as large as the hole in her heart left by their absence was, she knew she was doing the right thing. She was a killer; she knew that now. Which meant she couldn't be trusted. Sooner or later, she would get angry or scared and one of the people she loved would end up dead. 

\--------------------

Laurel pulled her coat around her more firmly, shivering in the cold. She'd been in Siberia for a little over two weeks. The first thing she did was get on a train and get as far away from the city surrounding the airport as possible. 

She bought a house that had long since been abandoned six miles from the closest town- which contained a small general store, a bar, and not much else. It was home mainly to hunters and recluses: people who wanted to be as far from humanity as possible. Laurel fit right in. 

There wasn't much to do in a frozen desert several miles from any form of humanity, so Laurel took up wood chopping. It started when she was nearing the end of her first week. Feeling angry and dispirited, she picked up the small axe by the door, went outside, and started hacking away at the nearest tree. It turned out the task of cutting down an entire tree with a small axe was far more difficult that she thought it would be. But, an hour or so in, her muscles burning with exertion and sweat freezing on her skin, her mood started to lighten. She felt satisfied when she went in for dinner that night, and she slept well for the first time since Diaz' death.

She went back at it again the next day, and the next. The mindless work gave her time to think about Dinah, Curtis, Rene, and the family she'd found, about who she was and how she got there, and about Dinah. Okay, it was usually about Dinah.

The tree fell on her fourth day of chopping at it with an Earth shattering -wumph!- barely missing her house. 

She let out a cheer and threw her axe to the ground, dancing around the tree in victory. 

Once she'd had her share of gloating, Laurel settled on the ground with a quiet sigh, laying her head against the rough bark of her fallen foe. 

It reminded her of the time when they'd stolen Diaz's money, their celebratory dance, and the way Dinah held her tight as she ran her fingers through Laurel's hair. The memory brought tears to her eyes, although the cold from the snow on the ground seeping through her clothes may have contributed.

Laurel got up slowly, torn between holding onto her memories of Dinah for as long as possible, and her body's need to escape the cold. Fear of frostbite won, and she headed inside, giving the tree a gentle pat as she did so.

She changed quickly once she got inside, and hung her snow laden clothes over the empty fireplace. She got to work getting a fire started, setting water by the flames to boil soon after. 

She sipped her tea, and it was hot and bitter, just the way she wanted it. It should be peaceful, and it would be, if not for the loneliness clawing at her heart with fervor, begging to be recognized. Her new life would be peaceful, except it seemed as if the image of Dinah's face was burned beneath her eyelids, filling her with longing if she so much as blinked. And so, it should be peaceful, but it wasn't because she was achingly, unbearably, lonely. 

That's why when a beaten up van came rumbling to a stop in front of her as she was carving more chunks out of the tree the next day, she was glad. 

She knew she'd just have to send them away again, and maybe even move, but the interaction would be worth it. And maybe it would be enough for her to find peace at the next location. 

Dinah stepped out of the van slowly, her feet sinking into the deep snow. The boys stayed behind, Rene in shotgun and Curtis peeked out from the back. 

Laurel tossed her axe aside and stepped forward to meet her. She figured she could run again, but there wasn't really a point. It was also because, deep down, hidden under all of the self loathing, Laurel just wanted Dinah to reassure her, to tell her that she wasn't a monster. 

And so when Dinah came closer and said "We should talk," in a voice completely devoid of any of the anger Laurel had been expecting, she was all too quick to invite the only person she'd ever loved into her sad shell of a house. 

Laurel tended to the fire while Dinah stripped off her snow laden outer layers, neither of them speaking. Laurel sat by the fire when it was ready, anxiously waiting for Dinah to join her. 

And she soon did, dressed in a pair of leggings and a thick sweater with sleeves that reached past the palms of her hands. It was something completely ordinary, but the way her sleeves reached past her wrists made the Black Canary look so vulnerable. It shouldn't have, but Laurel's heart swelled at being granted the privilege to see this side of the normally stoic woman.

Dinah came and sat cross legged beside her, soaking up the heat from the fire. She hesitated for a moment, as if collecting her courage before asking exactly the question Laurel was terrified to answer. "Why did you leave?" 

Laurel swallowed. "I killed Diaz. And I... I li-... I liked it." She choked out, eyes on the fire, refusing to meet Dinah's penetrating gaze. "What if one day I decide I'd like killing you? Or Curtis or Rene? I couldn't risk your safety," she mumbled. 

Dinah's reply caught her by surprise. "Bullshit," she said, quiet but sure. Her words weren't exactly kind, but there was o anger behind them. She could never be angry at Laurel, especially not for this. "We know you wouldn't hurt us. We trust you." She said. "I mean have you every even considered killing any of us?" she asked, already sure of the answer. 

Laurel's mumbled "No" was all Dinah needed to continue. "Then why don't you tell me what's really going on?" she asked firmly. 

Laurel still didn't look up from the fire. "I guess I thought you'd hate me," she said, starting to get defensive. "Rule of law and all that." 

Laurel heard Dinah sigh. "Laurel please just tell me what's going on. I want to help, we all do. I love you." 

And it's the 'I love you' that does it. The three words knock the breath out of her lungs and leave her scrambling, so she didn't even realize she yelled "I don't deserve it" until it's out of her mouth and into the world.

It seems once she's started she can't stop. A hidden part of her brain had been accessed, a door pulled open, and now everything she'd been repressing for months came flooding out like Pandora's Box. 

"When I was in shock after killing Diaz, you brought me to your apartment and comforted me. I had just killed someone, and you comforted me. I didn't deserve the lengths you went to show me you cared then, and I don't deserve them now. You know me. You know who I am, what I've done. I'm a monster. And monsters don't get happy endings." She finished her speech, a little out of breath, tears pricking her eyes. 

She half expected Dinah to walk away. To realize the truth in what Laurel had said and agree. 

So when Dinah gently placed her hands on Laurel's cheeks , she melted into it before she realized what was happening and became stiff with tension. 

"Whether or not you think you deserve it is irrelevant. I love you Laurel Lance. Nothing could change that," Dinah said. 

Laurel leaned into Dinah, resting on her shoulder and hiding her face as the tears came.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a real quick chapter abt their flight home

The flight home was far superior to Laurel's flight to Russia. They borrowed Oliver's private jet, and the privacy it offered gave Laurel the change to say something. 

She hadn't spoken much on the drive besides whispered apologies accompanied by tight hugs. But once the plane reached cruising altitude, she stood suddenly, aware that if she didn't talk now, she could really fuck up her relationships with the most important people in the world to her. 

She spoke for a few minutes about her past, and the things that she taught herself to believe about herself and about the world. And then she started making promises. Promises of trust and honesty and vulnerability. Promises she was going to hate following through on, but that she would try her hardest to keep. 

Rene and Curtis tackled her with a hug after she finished talking and she smiled in relief. She hadn't lost them.

Dinah stayed in her seat. Once Laurel was freed from the boys' bear hug, she sat next her, perched nervously on the edge of the seat next to Dinah. 

"Thanks for not giving up on me," she said quietly. Dinah smiled, but she still said nothing. Inching slowly and carefully closer, Laurel hesitantly asked, "Is it too late for us?" 

Dinah looked over and Laurel thought she saw a glimmer of happiness in the taller woman's eyes. Then Dinah said, "It's not too late," and she crashed her lips against Laurel's. 

As their lips moved in tandem, sparks flying through them, there was only one thought in Laurel's mind: all was right in her world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo if anyone's still reading this let me know if you want me to keep going or just end it here


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they finally get some furniture in Laurel's apartment 
> 
> warning: Laurel has a little bit of a flashback and a panic attack, so if that's a trigger for you, i would recommend skipping this chapter  
> also note: this is based solely on my own experience and it is not meant to generalize the experience of people with anxiety or people who suffer from panic attacks

Laurel and Dinah struggled up the stairs with a couch weighing them down, cursing and laughing as they took it one clumsy step at a time, bumping into steps and walls that seemed to appear out of nowhere. 

Dinah's curly hair was wrapped up in a bun balanced on the top of her head and there were little strands of her hair falling out against her bare neck and all Laurel wanted to do was get up this last flight of stairs so she could kiss her. 

They maneuvered their way around the railing and Laurel kicked her new front door open with the bottom of her foot so they could hurry in and put down the couch before they dropped it. 

They made it a few feet past the door before their eyes met. Dinah nodded at Laurel and they dropped it in the entryway, blocking the entire hallway. Dinah pushed it a few times before giving up and plopping down on it to take a break. 

Laurel collapsed next to her and met Dinah's raised hand with a high-five. Laurel looked over at her as she did so and her breath caught in her throat at Dinah's cheerful grin. She inched closer to her and hesitated for a second before pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. Dinah rested her hand against Laurel's neck and when she went to move away Dinah moved her hand to Laurel's cheek and moved her face towards her slowly so Laurel could back away if she wanted to. Instead, she moved forward and met her hallway, their lips meeting in a slow kiss. 

It started off gentle, but it began to grow more heated, although it remained careful and slow. Laurel moved her tongue tentatively against Dinah's lips and she opened her mouth to allow their tongues to dance together. Dinah didn't move to deepen the kiss in any way, allowing Laurel to set the pace. 

Understanding what was happening, Laurel decided to make her move and she pulled Dinah gently towards her, lying back so Dinah landed on top of her. Dinah froze at the new position, and paused to make sure Laurel was okay. Laurel responded with a smile and a soft "I'm great," before pulling Dinah back towards her to press their lips together again. 

They kissed slowly, taking their time to learn every contour each other's lips. Dinah slowly moved her hand up to rest against Laurel's cheek, rubbing her thumb in slow circles. 

It was nice at first, but then all of a sudden Laurel forgot where she was and it was Diaz's hand and he was gripping her cheeks possessively, pressing bruises into her skin that claimed her as his own. Laurel broke the kiss with a gasp, her body rigid as a board, shaking in terror. 

Dinah immediately stepped back to give Laurel space, torn between trying to comfort her and trying to stop herself from doing anything that could hurt Laurel more. 

Laurel said there, shaking and gasping, and Dinah felt completely at a loss.

"Okay, okay," she whispered to herself, trying to figure out what to do.

"Laurel just breathe okay, breathe with me." She inhaled deeply and exhaled, hoping Laurel would copy her actions. When Laurel's breath remained short and panicked she decided to try something different. 

She scooted a little closer to Laurel. She was close enough to reach out and touch her, but she didn't. "Love can you put your hand over my heart?" she asked. Laurel complied, her hand shaking. 

Dinah took a deep breath, feeling the way her chest moved up and down under Laurel's hand. "Do you feel me breathing?" she asked. Laurel made a small sound that sounded like assent, which Dinah took as progress. "Okay, try and match your breath to mine. We're okay. We're here together, in your new apartment, and we're breathing in and out, in and out," she said. 

Laurel moved her hand away from Dinah's chest as her breathing returned to normal. 

"Thanks," she whispered quietly, tapping her fingers gently against Dinah's hand.

Dinah exhaled in relief and flipped her hand so that Laurel could intertwine their fingers. 

"I'm sorry," Laurel said. "I don't want to be a burden to you." 

Dinah's heart dropped through the floor and she felt tears prick her eyes. "Oh god, Laurel you could never be a burden," she said, staring at Laurel, who couldn't meet her eyes. "I love you so much. I'm so so glad you're in my life," Dinah said, tears tracking down her cheeks. 

Laurel looked up and Dinah saw that she was crying too.

Laurel wrapped her arms around Dinah and they held each other, both of them hating themselves for their tears, for not being able to be strong for the one they loved. 

They let their guards down for each other and allowed themselves to be weak, and in that moment, they became strong.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> laurel has a nightmare and she calls dinah 
> 
> her nightmare's kind of a lot so trigger warning for that. honestly this whole fic is one big trigger warning i'm really sorry it's so dark.

Laurel settled into her new bed, sinking into the expensive mattress that Dinah made her actually buy legally instead of just stealing it. For some reason, she wasn't all that made about it. 

She counted her breath on each inhale, focusing all of her willpower on that one task. If she focused hard enough on her breathing, she could ignore her constantly spinning thoughts long enough to fall asleep. 

Just as she felt the pull of exhaustion and began to drift away, there was a great crash and Diaz was on her. He landed on her bed, his hands closing around her throat-

-and then the floor fell through. 

She landed feet first on a concrete floor. Diaz was already in front of her. 

She turned to run, but her exit was blocked by Curtis and Rene standing shoulder to shoulder. Her relief was short-lived. 

Instead of helping, they each grabbed one of her arms, holding her in place. Laurel tried to struggle but her cry was gone and she felt incredibly sluggish and weak. 

Her fear grew as Diaz got closer until she was screaming, begging for help. 

She spotted Dinah in the corner of the room. She didn't know how she hadn't noticed her before. 

"You deserve this," Dinah's voice whispered, but her mouth didn't move. A tear dropped out of Laurel's eye and tracked water down her cheek. 

She cried out for help but Dinah just watched, her face impassive as Diaz drew his fist back. 

She screwed her eyes shut-

And woke up, gasping and drenched in sweat. She sat up immediately and turned on her light, making sure she was alone. 

Laurel left the light on as she laid back down. She was shaking in fear, the image of Dinah's uncaring face actively burning itself into her brain, giving her a headache. 

'It wasn't real,' she thought to herself. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. 

The second Laurel closed her eyes the dream was all over her. She was suffocating in the world her mind created. She couldn't escape. 

Laurel opened her eyes and exhaled in relief at the sight of her empty room. 

She tried to busy herself making tea, and she even resorted to cleaning her already clean apartment, but nothing worked. Diaz was behind every closed door and shadowed corner. No matter what she did, she couldn't get him to leave. 

After hours of uneven breathing and shaking hands, Laurel gave in and called Dinah. 

She fiddled with her fingernails as the dial tone rang. 

"Hey love." Dinah's voice sounded exhausted and scratchy with sleep. 

Laurel exhaled slowly, the sound of Dinah's voice alone slowing her rapid heartbeat. 

"You okay?" Dinah asked, stifling a yawn.

"Yeah... just a bad dream. Sorry I woke you," Laurel said, ashamed that she was inflicting her bad sleep on Dinah. She considered just hanging up and letting Dinah sleep. It would be the right thing to do morally speaking... right? She still wasn't an expert on the whole being a good person thing. 

As if she read Laurel's mind, Dinah said, "Call me anytime. I really want to be here for you Laur." 

Laurel mumbled agreement, but she still felt a little guilty. She really really didn't want to make Dinah's life any harder than it already was. 

"Do you want to talk about your dream?" Dinah asked. 

Laurel was instantly back in the concrete basement, and she was terrified. "No," she said quickly. "Definitely not." 

Laurel could hear Dinah shifting, presumably sitting up in bed. She felt another wave of guilt, knowing she was keeping her up. 

"Do you want to talk about something else? I'd love to rant about my co-workers," Dinah said. 

Laurel smiled, just a little. "That sounds wonderful," she said. 

With each word that came out of Dinah's mouth Laurel felt calmer and calmer, until eventually she felt safe enough to close her eyes. 

She fell asleep soon after, completely exhausted. 

Dinah smiled as she heard Laurel's breathing even out. 

"I love you," she whispered. 

Then she closed her eyes and allowed Laurel's quiet breathing to lull her to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really like this chapter because normally we don't get to see dinah's feelings because it's in laurel's pov but at the end dinah's like i love u and its so sweet so yea i hope u liked it


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they chat, they kiss, they vibe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what up im backkkkk 
> 
> sry this chapter took so long i was i n a d e p r e s s i o n

Dinah came over and spent the night at Laurel's apartment most weekends. It was then that Laurel finally brought up something that had been on her mind for a while.

They were sitting on the couch together, Dinah with her legs on Laurel's lap, watching tv. It was during the commercials that Laurel finally got up the courage to say, "I think I want to see Quentin."

Dinah turned off the tv and turned to look at Laurel, pulling her legs underneath her as she did so. "Are you sure?" she asked. "I mean he did shoot you back on Lian Yu."

Laurel shrugged. "It was a shitty feeling, being shot by my own dad, or a version of him at least. But I'm glad he did it otherwise I might've killed you." She kissed Dinah gently on the cheek, unbelievably glad that she was still alive.

"Would you have?" Dinah asked curiously, intertwining their fingers. "Killed me I mean."

Laurel exhaled heavily. "I would've," she said. "I would've done anything to survive." She shook her head. "God I was such a coward," she said muttered, bitterness clear in her voice.

"Hey," Dinah murmured. "Don't talk about yourself like that. Besides you stood up to him remember? You just needed to be reminded what it felt like to have people who care about you."

Laurel kissed Dinah on the lips in response, letting her eyes flutter shut. She placed her forehead gently against Dinah's, her eyes still closed. "Thanks for that by the way. Caring about me."

"Always," Dinah murmured quietly before reconnecting their lips.

The kiss had barely begun before Laurel broke it off. "You okay?" Dinah asked quickly, placing a steadying hand against Laurel's thigh.

"Fine," Laurel reassured her, tracing the lines of Dinah's face with her thumb. "I just can't kiss you while I'm thinking about my father," she said with a smile. Dinah chuckled in response, partly out of relief and partly because whenever Laurel smiled, she couldn't help but smile back.

"How about this: I'll talk to Quentin..." Laurel smiled but Dinah wasn't done. "...if you have a meeting with that therapist I told you about."

Laurel instantly scrunched up her face. "We talked about this," she said.

Dinah placed a gentle kiss to Laurel's cheek, and then her jaw and neck, unable to stop herself with the woman she loved so close.

"I know you hate talking about yourself," she said, nuzzling against Laurel's neck. "But I think therapy would be good for you."

She pressed gentle kisses against Laurel's collarbone.

Laurel let out a quiet moan and Dinah instantly stopped, searching her face for any sign of discomfort. Laurel met her eyes and Dinah was shocked to see her pupils blown wide. She grinned, glad to be able to have this effect on her. It made her kind of proud, actually.

"Fine, one session, just don't stop doing... that." Laurel said. 

Dinah smiled and pulled Laurel in for another kiss before dipping lower. "You're beautiful," she whispered against Laurel's neck. 

Laurel couldn't manage a response.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> laurel meets with quentin. shit goes down. the squad has a sleepover because they're iconic

Laurel saw Quentin the second the entered the restaurant. He looked conflicted, but he smiled when he saw her.

She sat down in front of him and he handed her a small bundle of flowers with a quiet "These are for you".

"Thank you," Laurel said in a voice thick with emotion, tears welling up.

"You should know: Team Arrow is here," he said. It was clear that he felt guilty even bringing it up. She'd been expecting it, but it still hurt that her own father didn't trust her, even though he was from another earth. It hurt a lot actually. If the person who knew her better than anyone didn't trust her than who would? Then again, this version of her father didn't really know her at all.

"It's fine," she said, more to herself than to him. "My friends will protect me."

"That's good," he said.

There was silence for a moment as Laurel collected her thoughts.

"I'm not your Laurel. I'm nothing like her, we're different people. But, I hope that I can still become someone you can be proud of," she said.

"I know I don't know you, but I have a feeling you're pretty damn incredible," he replied.

Laurel felt herself tear up for the second time.

Before she could reply, her phone rang.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I'll turn it off."

She reached into her jacket pocket for her phone and a gunshot went off, breaking the window behind her.

Laurel instantly rolled out of her seat and into cover. She tried to drag Quentin with her, but he wasn't paying attention as yelled into a comm "Her phone! She was reaching for her phone!"

It was Oliver who shot at her- well Diggle probably.

Curtis hurried up to her and they ran out of the building together and into the car where Rene and Dinah were waiting. They sped away as Quentin ran after them.

\--

"It just makes me so mad!" Dinah growled, pacing in front of where Laurel, Curtis, and Rene were seated on the couch.

"He could've killed you!"

The realization hit her and Dinah sank to her knees, her eyes unfocused. "He could've killed you," she whispered.

Laurel rushed to comfort her, quickly followed by Rene and Curtis.

"Hey," she murmured. "D look at me." She placed a gentle hand on Dinah's hair and tucked her hair behind her ear.

She let out a sigh of relief when Dinah's eyes met hers and refocused, leaving whatever world she was in behind.

"I'm okay," she whispered, pressing their foreheads together. Dinah gripped her hand tightly and leaned back, turning to rest her head on Rene's shoulder.

Curtis squeezed Laurel's hand to comfort her, looking relieved.

\--

The boys turned to go soon after, seeking the comfort of their beds.

Laurel felt her anxiety rising, a question she was dying to ask on the tip of her tongue. It was only when they were opening the door to leave that Laurel finally got up the courage to ask, "Can you guys stay? It's just the whole thing with Quentin was really shitty and... I don't want to be alone."

Rene grinned and ran over, pulling her into a bear hug. "Of course," he said.

Curtis quickly joined the hug while Dinah stood a few steps away, watching with a smile on her face.

\--

They all slept on cushions on Laurel's living room floor like a middle school sleepover. Not that Laurel would know much about those- she'd already distanced herself from the world by then.

Long after Curtis and Rene were asleep, Laurel laid awake, unable to stop thinking about the look of guilty on Quentin's face when he told her that he didn't trust her enough not to come without armed backup. At least that was how she saw it. Then again, she'd brought backup too.

She rolled over to face Dinah, hoping to distract herself, and noticed she was still awake, staring at the ceiling.

"What are you thinking about," she whispered as quietly as she could.

Dinah turned to face her and looked into her eyes for a long moment before whispering "I love you."

Laurel's heart swelled. Dinah had said it before, but never like this, never with such conviction. And Laurel had never said it back.

"I love you too," she whispered. "So much."

Dinah smiled at her and intertwined their fingers.

"I know I can't love you as fully as I'm capable of right now but I want to learn how. I will learn how," Laurel promised.

Dinah nuzzled closer until their noses were touching, happy tears in her eyes.

Laurel took the final step and closed the gap, pressing their lips together gently, still holding her hand.

Their hands were still clasped together when they fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S TIME 4 LAUREL 2 GO 2 THERAPY

Laurel walked in the back door of the diner where she worked as a dishwasher on weekday mornings.

It could get a little gross sometimes, but it was a job; those are pretty hard to come by when you don't have a valid ID and your resume is dripping in blood. Besides, she'd defeated much scarier things than a stack of dirty dishes.

She put on her apron and got started right away, enjoying the lack of stress that came with a completely mindless job.

As nice as it was, by the third hour she was bored out of her mind and only way through her shift.

Her mind wandered to what she would do when she got home and she started to imagine a nice workout, the pleasant burn in her muscles and the exhaustion that meant a good night of sleep- but she was interrupted by the buzz of her phone.

She checked to make sure her supervisor wasn't looking- thankful once again for the solitude of the back room- and checked her phone.

She swore quietly when she saw the reminder for her first therapy session. With all of the drama around her meeting with Quentin she'd totally forgotten about the trade she had to make with Dinah to get there.

The thought of Dinah alone was enough to calm her and she got back to her dishes, anxious thoughts swirling around her brain.

\---

Laurel threw her dirty apron in the laundry bin and walked out, greeting her replacement with a nod.

Her phone rang as she walked home and she picked it up immediately when she saw who it was.

"Hey," Laurel said into the phone. She wanted to add a 'babe' to the end of it but she was too afraid. It was then that she realized they'd never been on an actual date. She would have to do something about that.

"Hey," Dinah replied. "Just checking in. You've got your first session today, I was wondering if you wanted a ride."

"That's okay, I think I'll take my bike," Laurel said, not willing to let Dinah skip work for her.

"Are you nervous?" Dinah asked.

"Absolutely terrified," Laurel said. "She can't report me to the cops can she?"

Dinah thought about it for a second. "If you make it a theoretical then she's not legally obligated, but she might do it anyway if she thinks you're a danger to society. You could always go with a metaphor though. Say you were like a security guard or something."

"So basically just lie?" Laurel asked with a grin.

"You've been a bad influence on me," Dinah said with a laugh.

Laurel smiled as she walked into her apartment building and started climbing the stairs.

"I've got to go, my break's over," Dinah said. She paused for a moment before saying, "I love you."

So they just casually said 'I love you' to each other now?

Laurel's smile grew fonder and she whispered, "I love you too," tears pricking her eyes.

She heard the smile in Dinah's face when she said, "Bye."

\---

Laurel spent the next few hours not doing much of anything, helpless to stop her dread from rising.

She got there early and sat in the parking lot for a few minutes before gathering the courage to go in.

She got all the way to the front door before turning around and walking quickly back to the safety of her bike. And there she sat for the full hour, unable to move until her session was over and she could stop pretending that she was going to go inside while she still had the chance. Then she turned and drove away, cursing herself all the while.

She dragged her feet every step back to her apartment, angry at herself for her cowardice. What would she tell Dinah?

She was instantly suspicious when she noticed that her door was unlocked. She was sure she locked it when she left.

She opened it carefully, ready to let loose a scream, but she relaxed when she saw Dinah on her couch.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" she mumbled stupidly, unable to bring up the real reason Dinah was here.

Dinah stood up. "I was, but your therapist called me because you didn't show up and you weren't picking up your phone." She ran her thumb gently against Laurel's cheek. "I was worried."

"I'm okay," Laurel said quietly. She hated it when she made Dinah worried.

"What happened?" Dinah asked.

Laurel stared at the floor in shame. "I got all the way there and I just sat in the parking lot. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she said, tears starting to form. She knew how much Dinah had wanted her to go. She felt like she was letting her down.

Dinah pulled her into a fiercely comforting hug.

"It's okay," Dinah said. She sounded so certain. "You've been holding everything in for so long, it's amazing you even got to the parking lot. You'll get in those doors one day."

Laurel pulled away from the hug to kiss her, because she loved her, and because she wanted to.

She broke the kiss far sooner than she wanted to to say, "Don't you have to get back to work?"

Dinah placed a quick peck against her lips. "You're more important," she said.

"As sweet as that is, you love your job. I don't want you to get fired for me," Laurel replied.

Dinah frowned. "I want to be here for you," she said.

"I'm fine, truly. And if I need anything I'll call Curtis, he just plays with electronics all day." 

Dinah sighed. "Fine" she said, stealing one more kiss before leaving.

Laurel flopped back onto the couch. Now about that date...


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they go on the date

Laurel had a plan for a date. A master plan really. Okay she wasn't sure about that. She was actually really worried that Dinah wouldn't like it.

She found a cool spot where they could drive up a mountain and then hike to the top. They would bring a picnic, and watch the sun set, and then look up at the stars... if Dinah liked the idea.

It wasn't a normal date, but they weren't normal. Plus, Laurel still got nervous around big groups of people and she didn't want to be anxious and uncomfortable on their first date.

That is, if Dinah even wanted to go on a date with her. She would, of course she would, but Laurel was still worried. She didn't want to fuck this up.

She planned to talk to Dinah about it when she came over that night, but she chickened out all through dinner and the movie they watched together. It as only when the credits rolled that she finally got the courage to bring it up.

Dinah's smile grew softer and softer as Laurel unfurled her plan, and when she finished Dinah intertwined their fingers and pressed a kiss to their joined hands.

"You are so sweet," she murmured. "That sounds like a beautiful idea."

Laurel's wide smile showed her relief and she squeezed Dinah's hand gently in recognition before saying, "I'm so glad you think so."

~~~

They drove up that Saturday and once they started up the mountain the time between passing cars grew until they were the only ones on the road.

They view was beautiful- from what Laurel saw of it. She was too busy looking at Dinah. All the windows were down and the wind whipped through her curls as she sang along to the radio, her eyes on the road. She looked happy. All Laurel wanted was to make her happy.

She filled up all the space in Laurel's heart, shined light on spaces so hidden in shadow that Laurel didn't even realize they existed. She could only hope she made Dinah feel the same.

The hike was short but steep and by the time they reached the top Laurel felt a pleasant burn in her muscles and they were both covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Dinah looked nice all sweaty. She looked sexy. It made Laurel want to kiss her.

They spread out their picnic blanket and took turns throwing grapes into each other's mouths and trading kisses as they watched the sun set.

Then they laid down and stared up at the night sky, the stars twinkling above them. They talked and talked, and they both gave up burdens they'd been holding onto for too long and began carrying them together, as partners.

After receiving the okay, Dinah snuggled into Laurel's side so their faces were almost touching. She whispered, "You make me so happy Laur."

Laurel smiled as tears misted her eyes.

For the first time since she could remember, she felt... content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last part of this story that i will write, but trust that their relationship is growing and they are happy (what am i saying they don't exist)   
> anyway thanks for reading 💛


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